Fitness without Trying

We spend a lot of time sitting down - on the work commute, in the office and back home slumped in front of the TV or games console. With the constant sitting and lack of physical movement, energy levels slump and come 4pm it’s Snickers O'Clock for that quick fix boost that fizzles out by 6pm. Time is limited with the 9-5, travelling, social engagements and family commitments. So where is the time to get exercise and reap the physical and mental health benefits (according to the NHS, exercise has proven to decrease the risk of type 2 diabetes by up to 50% and depression by up to 30%)?  

If you can’t afford the gym or the treadmill just bores you, here are 5 little ways to get exercise into your daily routine which takes little to no effort and often costs nothing:

Running

This is one of the most popular free exercises around. For those who are not inclined to dedicate much time to running, do daily little sprints at intervals of your commute - run rather than walk to the bus stop or train station and feel the endorphins rush!

Walking

A Sunday afternoon favourite of mine. Also a great lunch break activity that will help you to feel more refreshed when you return to your desk. Walking also offers the opportunity to make the most of your nearest park or woodland and take time to appreciate nature and its calming effect away from the urban noise and chaos.

Grocery Shopping

I don’t do online grocery orders. A trip to my local Lidl involves a 15 minute walk there followed by the same journey back but with the added weight of shopping bags laden with tins and bottles. With a particularly heavy load (but avoid overdoing it and risking a back injury - know your limits), set yourself challenges such as carrying the bags to the nearest lamp post before stopping for a moment and moving again. A great toning up and strength building exercise without a personal trainer.

Dance

There is a great choice of drop-in dance classes, from classical ballet to breakdance, in dance studios and community centres. Classes are ideal if you want to learn a particular style and drop-ins make it easier for time-pressured students to commit when they can.This is also a great opportunity to meet new people (classes can be full of a diverse range of ages and backgrounds) or something to do with like-minded friends.

If classes are too intimidating, dance is something you can do for absolutely free. Put your favourite upbeat tune on and dance around the living room like you’re Beyoncé (or insert preferred pop diva here) when nobody’s around or learn a routine from a youtube video. Games such as Dance Central Spotlight are great dance-based cardio workouts, as well as a bit of a giggle, which you can do from as little as 10 minutes to an hour.     

Sex

Even if you’re not particularly acrobatic in the sack (or on the sofa, in the shower, etc), NHS studies have shown that sex in general is a great stress buster. That cheerful person who skips into the office on a miserable Monday morning? Yep, they’re getting some.

Everyone’s different and tension relieving pleasure can be sought with or without penetration. For those who enjoy penetration, some women may find that it’s also a pretty effective abdominal workout - My former belly dance teacher would compare some stomach moves to those used during intercourse.  

Sex can also make the skin glow and the cheeks blush by improving the blood circulation - Beats a makeover at a cosmetics counter any day.

How I Popped My Twin Peaks Cherry

The following is mainly for those of you who have not watched Twin Peaks. This is one of my new passions and I’d like to spread the love. I’ll try to avoid big spoilers!

Since its UK broadcast in 1990, I had always been aware of Twin Peaks - the cult TV series created by David Lynch and Mark Frost. I was aware of the references to cherry pie and the eerie theme tune. But I didn’t see the actual show  - I was just 9 years old.

Twin Peaks never got repeated on the small screen so the fragments I knew of it became vague memories. Not long after my burlesque debut as Honey Schnapps in 2009, I was asked to perform at Lynchian cabaret night The Double R Club after the producers had seen me perform a femme fatale number at a competition. Shamefully, and something I never confessed to until now, I still didn’t get around to watching any David Lynch productions let alone Twin Peaks. I do wonder if I would have created a new and very different act, rather than my 50s bad girl one (annoyingly there’s no video), if I had seen any Lynch back then. The Double R Club itself, however, gave me a tremendous insight into the mysterious and nightmarish world conjured up by Lynch.

Honey Schnapps as Bad Girl in 2009

Fast forward to 2015 and a night in going through Amazon Instant Video’s countless hits and misses when I stumble upon seasons 1 and 2 of Twin Peaks. Without hesitation play is selected. Twin Peaks starts off like any other murder drama - a body is found by the shore of a small town and the authorities are alerted - but very quickly it stops being any other murder drama. With elements of horror, comedy, melodrama and surrealism Twin Peaks transcends genre and this is one crucial reason why the show has such a passionate following and still attracts new fans like myself 25 years after its first broadcast.  

Following Agent Dale Cooper run an investigation into the murder of popular local teenager Laura Palmer, the viewer is drawn into the lives of the residents of Twin Peaks - a small and apparently simple town where dark secrets are hidden. It’s the characters that keep you hooked - the eccentric Log Lady with cryptic knowledge, the alluring and scheming Audrey Horne and highly strung drape runner-obsessed Nadine Hurley (Nadine’s amnesia phase is a television classic by the way) are but a few favourites who entertain and intrigue.

And, of course, there’s Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) who has got to have a special place in the hearts of anybody who has even briefly seen Twin Peaks. Cooper’s innocent joy and enthusiasm in everyday life as well as his good nature is just delightful. The world would be lovelier if there were more Dale Coopers around.

If you’re giggling at one scene, then prepare to shit yourself at the next. Twin Peaks has genuinely terrifying moments. BOB is a demonic being from another realm called The Black Lodge and just a flash of his feral eyes peering from the end of a bed will give unsettling dreams. Twin Peaks gets creepy when the supernatural takes over and also highlights its stunning visuals - the design of the Red Room at the Black Lodge, with its monochrome zig zag floors and red satin curtains, could pass for a cheesy entertainment venue but the starkness of it is too unsettling. Dwellers of the Red Room speak in a otherwordly disjointed pattern which was created by rerecording sentences turned backwards forwards again.   

Twin Peaks was cancelled after the 2nd season due to falling viewing figures despite a huge fanbase. In 1992, feature length Fire Walk With Me was released which follows the ill-fated Laura Palmer in the final week of her short yet complex life. After completing the second season, of which there are many infuriating cliffhangers, I wasted no time in ordering a Blu-ray copy of Fire Walk With Me. With visual treats such as the Twin Peaks series I strongly advise avoiding dodgy websites offering free viewing (and of course it’s also on principle). Fire Walk With Me takes the dark and seedy underbelly of Twin Peaks to the very forefront and doesn’t hold back. This is the ultimate nightmare. And a must-see after viewing the TV show which will shed a little more light on the characters’ backgrounds. Plus David Bowie is in it.

The freshly arrived Blu-ray 

In October 2014 it was announced that there was a new season of Twin Peaks in the pipeline and original cast such as MacLachlan had been confirmed. Joy led to despair when Lynch pulled out of Twin Peaks after what appeared to be a breakdown in financial negotiations with Showtime. Protests included the hashtag #savetwinpeaks and a video from original cast members entitled ‘Twin Peaks without David Lynch is Like……..’. Last week, Lynch posted an unexpected tweet announcing that he was back on board for the third season. This is thrilling news for Twin Peaks cast, crew and fans alike. No broadcast date has been confirmed yet - the suspense is not just all on screen! 

Dear Twitter Friends, the rumors are not what they seem ..... It is !!! Happening again. #TwinPeaks returns on @SHO_Network

— David Lynch (@DAVID_LYNCH) May 16, 2015

To get a taste of how far fans will go in their love for the TV classic, there is currently a Kickstarter campaign to create a documentary about a teenage gay outsider, Travis Blue, whose Twin Peaks obsession takes him on a wild and very dangerous journey. Directed by Adam Batan, who is also a friend of Travis,  this looks like a project that is not just for Twin Peaks fans but anyone who is interested in general fandom and a human story.

Now pass the donuts and pour me some damn fine coffee…..